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MY SECRET LITTLE SIN

MY SECRET LITTLE SIN

Take a look deep into that dark closet of yours and you will find you have one too. Somewhere in there I bet you do! Although my closets are so small and dark mine is sometimes hard to find.

What am I talking about? My secret little sin of course “I just want to write.  I love to write and I don’t make much money at it either. I certainly couldn’t support myself with it. But that’s not the point of my writing. The point is I enjoy it. Writing is an outlet and I feel as though I missed something in my day when it doesn’t happen which seems to be more often than not these days.

Yes, I know. My kids are grown. The girls all live away and have families of their own to deal with. Andrew is away at college, and H is at work all day. I should have all the time in the world! But where is it? Where is my time going? It’s like I live on top of a sinkhole that is sucking away my days.

Save my time first!

Save my time first!

I do work at a paying job – at home – but it’s still work and I have deadlines to meet each week. Well, most weeks. I can make my own schedule and work at my own pace as long as I deliver on time.

Sometimes the work’s not there and I envision all I will get done in the following days. The sequel to ‘Crossing The Line’ would be finished and ready to insert into my template to publish. By-the-way, I’m thinking of changing the name of the sequel. Right now it is ‘What Line.’ I have another idea in my head and will be giving you more on that later. Stay tuned!

My inside doors will all be painted and hung back up and my desk-in-the-closet idea will take place and will be one you will be jealous of. I just betcha will! Then I will have my own little place to write. 😉 I’m shooting for this look.

My own space!

My own space!

H doesn’t help me much with these little projects I tend to cook up. He jumped at the supervisor job like a lion on his prey! Therefore, I leave as much of the clean-up work to him as I can get away with.

It took me five months to put the back splash up in my kitchen because I had to start and stop so many times. Maybe that is why I don’t cook very often. To be realistic my kitchen wasn’t torn apart or a mess for those five months. I just couldn’t find a block of time to do the grouting. I could have cooked more, but took advantage of the situation as most of you would too. Finally, last Sunday afternoon I did the grout work and finished it! Never again!

Never again!

Never again!

Anyway, the point of this story is I just want to write. H has decided he wants me to buy a new car. I don’t want to be paying on a car note for another four or five years. Ugg! I know. I should be overjoyed. “Yay! A new car!” My car’s fine and I love it. Not quite paid off yet either. He retires in about fourteen months and in my Dave Ramsey’s Way Plan all the notes would be paid off by then. No more car or truck note. No more credit cards. Only the essentials.

I was planning on cutting back on work. No more alterations, and less pillow work. Time to write all day if I desire. My time would be my own – and H’s because of course he will be around without work to go to. I have no idea how that is going to work out. Hmmm?

I probably shouldn’t worry. It took H ten years to buy a new truck one time. I kid you not.  Maybe I should say, “No new car. No new notes. I just want to write.”

You did notice I didn’t use any exclamation marks up there so I wasn’t yelling. Just telling it like I want it and trying to stay calm.

My secret little sin may come out of that small dark closet sooner than planned. 😉

~Elle

 

 

 

 

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About Elle Knowles

Elle Knowles lives in the Florida Panhandle with her husband and off-at-college-most-of-the-time son. She has four daughters, one son, and eleven beautiful grandchildren. 'Crossing the Line' is her first novel. The sequel 'What Line' is a work in progress.

13 responses »

  1. You’ll have to do what I did and tell H he needs a hobby BEFORE he retires! That’s what I suggested to Bob and he is building a canoe! He LOVES it and it has been an exciting experience for him. He spends most of his time off out in the barn working on that canoe! Makes me happy he is getting so much pleasure from it! I’m sure there is something H can find to do that makes him happy after retirement and give you the time you want to write!

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  2. I too have always had an itch to write, though it often lives in the background of my life. But that all changed when I started blogging in January. Now that little itch has turned into a full blown rash! I feel like I want to be posting all the time, but alas like you said time just disappears down a sink hole.

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  3. Sounds like writing is your therapy or escape. Everyone needs that. Mine would be writing with pictures – if I had the time…

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  4. I just want to write, and recovering from an illness since February 2014, you’d think I’d have all the time in the world to do so, but there have been too many interruptions….surgeries, infections, more surgeries. Home health aides changing IVs and dressings….I want to write sooooo bad, I could scream. I only scream when I’m in pain. No, I don’t want to write about my illness, I want to put that behind me and just WRITE! What do I write you ask? Nightly, I read and comment on the blogs I follow. Does that count, when it’s not writing for myself?

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    • It counts for me. If it didn’t I wouldn’t be writing at all! You write plenty from the looks of how much you post. Or you have all those fabulous stories stored in your computer! ~Elle

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  5. Like you, I love to write. But like you, I have a full time job (and work from home), and then there are other responsibilities (reading, eating, personal hygiene, family, life) that eat into my writing time. Oh well. At least you finished the grout on your backsplash.

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  6. Ha ha, well go for it then, do what you wanna do, write, write, write. I seem to be over-indulging in WP these past few months too, I enjoy a post or two each week, then there’s pictures, editing, actually cooking and writing about it, blah blah!! I’ve retired, hubby is waaaay past retirement, but he still loves to work, and I’m happy with that, as it would cramp my style otherwise :))

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    • We will have to figure it out once he retires Loretta. I need my space because I’m used to it. I believe he will get bored and find something part-time. Teaching private lessons or something like that. And the money will help – especially if he decides we really need that new car! Ugh. ~Elle

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  7. I have the same sin! Do you think that means we will be in the same section in hell?

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