EIGHTY-NINE AND PREGNANT

As I glanced in the full-length mirror this thought crossed my mine and was hard to process. When did I turn into my mother? Where did I go? When did I leave? I could see the slight resemblance in the figure, but the face belonged to my Dad’s side of the family.

Now my mother was never a big woman. She was considered very thin back in the day. But five kids, five years on an Alaska homestead, two jobs and helping my dad keep a fledgling business going worked against the rail thinness she was accustomed to as a young woman. Life takes a toil on our bodies and gravity takes over the older we get. My dad was tall and thin also meaning the thin genes ran rampant in the family.

Growing up in a one-horse town (no better way to explain it) we bought our clothing at local stores with modest inventory. I remember while in high school wearing size 5 junior and if there had been a 3 junior or even a 1 junior available to me at that time it would probably have fit better, not gaping here and there with enough room to grow, though I did not – grow that is.  Wanting my clothes to fit properly is probably the main factor in why I learned to sew at such a young age.

I never watched what I ate, never counted calories and hardly every exercised. I didn’t have to. With that double dose of thin gene in the family I was home free! At nineteen-years-old I only weighed 89 pounds when I got pregnant with my twins who are now forty-years-old. But, living in a much bigger city – Charleston, SC – I at least had lots more options and sizing in the clothing department at that time.

Years later I finally settled at a size 4 or 6 depending on the manufacture. Expensive labels run smaller for some reason. Maybe because if you can afford them you can pay to be the size you wish to be? Hmmmm?

Now that size 4 is mostly a size 6 and for a brief period was an 8. Age is a factor I’m sure. I run. I walk. I TRY to eat healthy. H brings home cookies and cherry pies and ice cream sandwiches from the grocery store. I shove them to the back of the cabinet or freezer and he pulls them out every night and sits next to me on the couch politely offering me some of his goodies. (Goodies he should not be eating either! Do I dare tell him?)

When I tell people I can’t eat all I want to eat anymore. I have to exercise and watch the calories, they say, “But you are so thin. Of course you can eat another piece of cake!” I tell them clothes hide a lot! That’s true and you know it!

Sometimes I just want to eat junk all day. You know – cookies, chips, a little cherry pie. I want a soda, not unsweet tea and I need my hot chocolate in the mornings! Give me some buttered popcorn and some of those movie theater candy packs.

And some days I don’t want to exercise. I’d rather sit here piddling on WordPress or writing on my book or reading. Those are the things that have to wait when I have to run.

When I gain weight I don’t gain it in all the right places. It goes to my thighs or my butt or my hips or my gut. Gained weight never divides itself by 3 or 4 or even 5 to settle evenly throughout your body in the places most desired. There should be a clever way to steer it in the right direction and when I figure that one out I’ll be a rich woman!

Also, when I lose weight, it’s usually in my face first making those prominent cheekbones more prominent. When Andrew was small he told me to suck them in – as if! Actually when you try to suck in cheekbones they stand out even further. You tried that didn’t you? 😉

Weight. It’s an issue to women everywhere. We are either too thin or too fat. There is never any in-between. I blame it on age because when I was younger weight was never an issue.

Now believe it or not, I really would not mind being a size 10 – IF I could be a voluptuous, curvy, sexy size 10! Until then I’ll just have to watch what I eat and exercise more!

If only this were the end result!

~Elle