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WHAT MAKES A SMART TV DUMB?

Posted on April 4, 2015 by Elle Knowles
WHAT MAKES A SMART TV DUMB?

Those shiny new smart TV’s. They lure you in, making you drool for the newest in technology. The things you can do – Netflix, YouTube, streaming this, streaming that, connect to the internet. The options are endless. But…what are the odds that we would get two smart TV’s that were both one brick shy of a load?

I’ve renamed them Dumb and Dumber. Dumb had a hairline fracture to the skull that made him fuzzy and distorted. Where was that fantastic picture we were promised? Clear, clean, and beautiful was in the description. Not fuzzy, wobbly, and lines through the images. We should have expected this because when he arrived at our doorstep his packing box had seen better days!

We packed Dumb snuggly and warm back in his shipping cradle and using almost a whole roll of packing tape helped put it in better shape than when he arrived. Six weeks after we place our order he arrived back where he started. He’s probably awaiting surgery as I type.smart tvA week later Dumber waltzed in to take Dumb’s place. Bright and shiny new again because – I’m sorry – we didn’t have the time or patience to wait on Dumb to have surgery. Hopefully he will soon find a family and have a place to call home. It wasn’t his fault his shipping cradle had holes!

Dumber’s name says it all. One brick shy of a load…Not the brightest light in the harbor…A few screws short of a hardware store…Not the sharpest knife in the drawer…The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming… Well, you get it don’t you? I’m not sure he does.

Dumber has no idea how to connect to the network. Heck! He can’t even find any network, not even his own! After positioning him in three different places, multiple SSID and password entry’s, three lengthy phone calls and twenty-four hours later we have given up the thought he might improve with age.

It’s off to the warehouse hospital for you Dumber. Your twin brother is awaiting a reunion! Third time’s the charm. Hopefully they weren’t triplets.

~Elle

 

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Posted in Humor, My Dribbles, Rant and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

About Elle Knowles

Elle Knowles lives in the Florida Panhandle with her husband and off-at-college-most-of-the-time son. She has four daughters, one son, and eleven beautiful grandchildren. 'Crossing the Line' is her first novel. The sequel 'What Line' is a work in progress. Recently published is Coffee-Drunk Or Blind - a nonfiction story of homesteading in the Alaska wilderness with her parents and four siblings, told through letters by her mother and remembered accounts from the family.

18 responses »

  1. In My Cluttered Attic | April 4, 2018 at 2:14 pm

    Elle, the great thing about reading a documentary (a true story) like this is that it’s just like watching a documentary on television. Although, this was much more entertaining than one of those that you might see on television. Much more fun—’cause I could relate to the pain of it all. Oh, the pain…ouch. And that comes from a man whose remote comes attached to his hand—or so my wife claims. 😀

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  2. Elle Knowles | April 4, 2018 at 9:43 am

    Reblogged this on Finding Myself Through Writing and commented:

    We finally got our smart tv and there are still many features I haven’t mastered. As long as I can pull up Ntflix and Prime tv, I was ok. Untill…Andrew taught me how to connect my laptop to the tv so we could watch his concerts live from Lee University! So much technology! ~Elle

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  3. Fimnora Westcaw | April 5, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    Fabulous post! AND OMB! how true! I mean, this is how it is. I call it the 21st Century Disease. Nothing’s as good as it was, or made as well as it was back in the day (of course, I didn’t have tv as a kid, so what do I know lol)… I LOVE technology but technology doesn’t love me back. It just doesn’t work. And trying to get help is like hopping on the boat that has a hole in it… it just keeps going down – or as they’ve always said about the million times a person watched “Titanic” It sunk again. That’s exactly what it feels like.

    But you surely did put a smile on my face with your way with telling a story.

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  5. curtisbausse | April 5, 2015 at 2:33 am

    Ha, ha, great post! Jamais deux sans trois, they say in French, which doesn’t bode well, but hopefully it’ll be third time lucky for you. Then it’s just a matter of finding something decent to watch.

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  6. "Bethie" | April 5, 2015 at 12:57 am

    Thank you for making me :D, Elle! I certainly hope Dumb and Dumber have no relatives that will try to take up residence in your home. Best of luck. Oh, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!

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  7. sknicholls | April 4, 2015 at 9:24 pm

    We don’t even have a smart TV and the one we do have is so complicated I have to have Greg operate the remote to turn the damn system on. Argh! NOT tech savvy. 😦

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  8. hirundine608 | April 4, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    That is hilarious in a droll manner.

    I now have only one TV and although it has digital picture. It does not have any of those app. thingys. When in London for my niece’s wedding two years ago. My Mom wanted one – a digital TV with all the whistles, for she was lured at the prospect of Netflix on her TV. Unfortunately after she had purchased it and my brother-in-law and myself, set it up for her. I could see she was confused by the array of buttons on the remote. The menu screens and when finally into Netflix. Trolling what was for offer. None of the selections appealed to her. For she wanted Dickens and Emily Bronte. I think she actually believed a service like Netflix would carry those films. Heck they didn’t even have Tess on offer.

    So, that was enough to convince myself, that I was happy enough watching the film service on my computer. The screen is almost the size of my TV, anyway.

    The TV itself, I used to pay for a lot of channels but got fed-up with Clint Eastwood reruns. Not only that but since the TV service deliverer went digital. The reception is lousy. The signal continues to pause, go blank and break up into brick-like segments. Seemingly, never when the ads are running. Slap-bang in the middle of the few good shows they do run.

    So, my conclusion is this. Once this TV of mine dies. Out goes the whole shebang. Apple TV box is looking attractive about now. Where the subscriber pays only for the channels they want? … Maybe?? I should follow my kid’s lead and not watch TV? For I find little content. 80 channels of nothing. That is enjoyable, for me, anyway. I really only use it to determine that the big one, has not gone off …?

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    • Elle Knowles | April 4, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Now don’t knock Clint Eastwood Jamie. He’s my favorite! 😉 I’d be just as happy to hook my Netflix box Andrew got me for Mothers Day last year to this TV. That’s all I’ll probably use it for anyway, but if we are going to spend this much money we might as well get the whole package. Hopefully # three won’t be sickly! ~Elle

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      • hirundine608 | April 4, 2015 at 9:28 pm

        Hi Elle, yup all digits crossed for you.

        I was not complaining about Mr. Eastwood. Just the repetition of thirty year old films. Of which the most prevalent were those. Personally not my favourite genre. Netflix is okay. It has a good general selection. My gripe about them is once you like a film, Netflix wants to toss similar ones at you. I don’t suppose they have a bracket for eclectic, do you?

        I try to avoid those that concentrate on wickedness and gratuitous violence. For there is enough of that in the real world. Cheers Jamie.

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