DAVID AND HILARY – ARE YOU OUT THERE?

It’s one of those things you want and know you never have a chance of getting. Have you ever watched the show on TV – Love It or List It? I think I’m addicted. I want to be on that show. I want to be the next victim client. Woe is me. I was very disappointed to learn this will never happen. Not unless I pick up this itty-bitty house and move it to Raleigh-Durham or within a 45 minute drive of the Triangle in North Carolina. My house is small, but I can’t fit it in my back pocket!

So which one of us wants to move? Neither of us. We have lived in two states, six cities and seven apartment/houses in twenty-three years. Is that all? It seems like more! Another move is really out of the question. H has finally found a place to light, though small it is.

We moved here because we inherited the property. No rent, no payments, free and clear! Oh, he has said a few times we should probably sell this place and move to another location with more storage, less yard maintenance, and no honey-do lists. But he won’t. This is where his roots are and he’s happy surrounded by all this crap stuff!

Believe it or not I don’t want another move in my future either. This house has possibilities. I know it does because I dream about it at night.

To be on ‘Love It or List It’ we would have to get on the same page or rather opposite pages and decide who wants to stay and who wants to move. I guess the moving will have to be me because he has stronger ties and could care less that he lives in a cracker box.

I know exactly how much extra money I need to include in my budget to stay. Nothing will take me by surprise. When they start opening up the walls all hell will break loose. The wiring in this 1956 home has NEVER been updated  and neither has the plumbing. And I suspect we may have some termite issues, though why I don’t know because the walls are concrete block. All we are is dessert. Go someplace else for you main course! That cost will have to be taken right off the top of the budget and I intend to allow for it – unlike some people on that show do.  I would be in heaven with electrical outlets in my bathrooms!

Here is my list to stay and besides the expense of the wiring and plumbing I think its reasonable.

1. New front entrance – both the front and back door are actually on the same side of the house facing away from the street. The front door now opens from the wrong side because you walk into the wall instead of into the room. What were these contractors thinking? Evidently they weren’t! It must have been the cocktail hour when that was planned.
2. Back deck with double French doors –  Outdoor space we could live in almost nine months of the year!
3. Smaller refrigerator – We have redone the kitchen from the ground up, changing the floor plan, but leaving the small square footage of 7’1″ X 10’11”. The last thing on that list is to get a new fridge. H refuses until this one kicks the bucket. I may have to find some wire snips and do a little repair work on that fridge! The rest of the space works fine. It’s only the two of us here.
4. Enlarge the bedroom we sleep in and add a master bath and walk-in closet – H has issues sleeping in the master bedroom so I have this huge room to call my own for sewing. The problem is I have to share it with everything Philadelphia! (H’s words – “No we can’t get rid of that. It came from Grandmothers house in Philadelphia!”) So off to the Philadelphia room it goes with the rest of the family.
5. Enclose the breeze-way – making the workroom and laundry room into a mud-room and laundry room.
6. Storage – There is none and I mean absolutely none! I don’t care where they put it. Just put it somewhere!

That’s not too bad is it? I could fake it and make David and Hillary think I really want to move out couldn’t I? We could look at other  properties and H could see how the other half lives – with all of the amenities I mentioned above –  and then he would be on board.

Now don’t get me wrong. I do love this house and it’s not a dump. Just small and no storage. Every summer we do a bit more in the renovations so if you are reading this David and Hillary, you better get on the stick before we get it all done ourselves and don’t need your help. Haven’t you had enough cold weather? It’s time to film in Florida. In the Florida Panhandle to be specific! The sunshine state! H and I would make good content for your show. We can bicker with the best of them – and usually do about this house.

~Elle