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I WON’T WORK FOR PEANUTS

I WON’T WORK FOR PEANUTS

I have made my first and last boiled peanut run! 

Having to pick up the order of boiled peanuts for SWHS band parents concession Friday was not on my list…at least not until about mid-day when the original plans of the pick-up by another band parent was canceled due to another commitment. 

I don’t eat boiled peanuts. They taste like half-cooked peas and smell like boiled shoe leather, so you can understand why I wasn’t thrilled with this duty bestowed upon me. 

I was really amazed when we first moved to Florida and small children coveted their bag or cup of boiled peanuts at ball games as though it was candy. 

I arrived at the produce stand announcing I was there to pick up 120 pounds of boiled peanuts for SWHS. (That’s a lot of peanuts.) I had to haggle over the price because it was $100 more than the price I was prepared to pay. (Let it be known I was not the person who ordered these peanuts.) 

After making a few calls and texts to the original purchaser on the price quoted her I finally got the price dropped by $60. (I hate being the middleman.) I guess you can’t buy peanuts for peanuts anymore. 

Then…there was no strong man around to help load them. You can imagine how heavy two coolers with 60 pounds of boiled peanuts in each weighed, especially with me and another girl whose weight was not  200  pounds between us loading them. 

Now I don’t know if the cost per pound was before they were boiled or after they were dropped in that boiling salted water, but it felt as though it was before and their weight had doubled since. 

One of the lids on the coolers didn’t want to stay closed tightly and I was afraid it was going to blow off in the back of the truck as I drove down the highway. The manager said, “No, we don’t have any tape.” I think she just wanted me to be on my way with my discounted peanuts so she could go back to work. 

I said, “Okay, but if you see on the news there was an accident because a cooler full of peanuts blew out onto the road in this rain you will know it’s me.”

I headed out driving 35 MPH for about 7 miles back to the school while holding up traffic behind me. I didn’t want that lid to fly off into the windshield of the vehicle behind me and the slower I drove, the better chance I had of it staying where it belonged. 

As I said earlier, this was my first and last boiled peanut run. I prefer mine salted and roasted. 

~Elle

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About Elle Knowles

Elle Knowles lives in the Florida Panhandle with her husband and off-at-college-most-of-the-time son. She has four daughters, one son, and eleven beautiful grandchildren. 'Crossing the Line' is her first novel. The sequel 'What Line' is a work in progress. Recently published is Coffee-Drunk Or Blind - a nonfiction story of homesteading in the Alaska wilderness with her parents and four siblings, told through letters by her mother and remembered accounts from the family.

14 responses »

  1. I will never understand who though boiled peanuts were considered edible! They are nasty!

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  2. truly funny – but obviously you need to put your foot down – never heard of them before – wonder if the members have read your post – smile..

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  3. Let the peanut eaters get them.

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  4. They smell like boiled shoe leather?! EW! Thanks for the description. I had always wanted to try ’em whenever I saw a sign (usually at gas stations in the States), that they sold boiled peanuts. But they just never sounded tantalizing enough to try. Now, I know to keep away from ’em. Ack. Thanks!

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    • I am sure that is not the description given by the ones who can’t get enough of boiled peanuts. I just wonder why anyone thought to boil them in their shells to begin with! Thanks for dropping by. ~Elle

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  5. What a fun post! I also had never heard of boiled peanuts until I read this post.

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  6. I suppose there’s an elephant joke, in there somewhere? Just so long as the peanuts were not packed in the trunk. …?

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  7. Why did I never hear of boiled peanuts until I moved to Mississippi? Do people in Louisiana not eat them? I agree – disgusting!

    Liked by 1 person

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