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The gavel struck the desk heavily with a loud BOOM making all present jerk in astonishment. Yes, I am declared GUILTY and that isn’t always a bad thing.

My sentence, if you can call it a sentence, was to remain blissfully ignorant of the fact not all relationships are what they appear to be.

I’ve never hidden the fact I do a lot for H and even wrote this post about it a few years ago – He makes the bed, I make the coffee. 

If you’ve paid attention it works both ways in a relationship. There’s a lot of give and take. You give a little  – he takes. He gives a little – you take. Most of the time it evens out.

There’s an old saying that goes something like this. What’s his is mine and what’s mine is mine. That actually refers to money situations. Hmmm? That’s not very nice is it? Seems kinda selfish on one end. I say share and share alike.

Sure a lot of couples share the household chores these days. It’s not like it was back in the day of woman’s work and man’s work. So many men are the cooks of the household now where they once used to grill only, and the prep, rest of the meal, and clean-up fell into the woman’s job description. H falls into that old-school category of cooking.  Maybe that’s why we eat out so much!

I work from home so most of the housework is left up to me. Not because he makes more money, or because that’s the rule, but because it just makes good sense. There’s no reason he should come home from a twelve-hour workday and have to sort laundry, clean bathrooms, or sweep the floors is it? If we let it all wait until the weekend where would we find the time for us?

I will admit I leave most of the yard work that usually gets done on the weekends to H. That’s mostly because we don’t always – maybe never – think alike in that area and if he would let me loose in that disaster he calls a workroom…well we won’t go there.

Yesterday after H left for work I noticed the laundry basket siting near the back door to the laundry room.



I think he must have wanted me to do some laundry, but knew if I questioned him he would say, “I thought I would help you out by bringing it from the back of the house for you.” And he did say that! After I sorted it there was only one full load – barely. So I appeased him and did one small load which I planned on doing the next day anyway. The rest went back to the other end of the house. Sometimes you have to leave well enough alone.
When he retires in two months I’ll still be working and he will be home all day. We may have to rethink this plan a little. I’m still not doing yard work unless he lets go of the control over that workroom and I’d rather he NOT do the laundry!

It works for us. Would it work for you? 



About Elle Knowles

Elle Knowles lives in the Florida Panhandle with her husband and off-at-college-most-of-the-time son. She has four daughters, one son, and eleven beautiful grandchildren. 'Crossing the Line' is her first novel. The sequel 'What Line' is a work in progress. Recently published is Coffee-Drunk Or Blind - a nonfiction story of homesteading in the Alaska wilderness with her parents and four siblings, told through letters by her mother and remembered accounts from the family.

10 responses »

  1. I work from home, so I can see what you mean. It’s easy to just throw a load of laundry in the washer, then go back to work. My husband handles all the yard work, though! I’m not very outdoorsy.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Personally, from all I’ve learned about you, you are truly amazing. Caring and so present for all those you love. I also know, when we are very devoted to others, we take…our needs…a backseat. The good news…receiving is in the giving, so I know on some level you glean much joy from that. H and A are very lucky to have you. Never forget that.
    And, on top of your care giving skills, you’re a great writer. Not everyone can say that. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I do the laundry – no sorting, toss it all in, same programme every time; Is there something more I should be doing?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sounds like us – I work from home so it makes the most sense I do most of the housework. Works for us!



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