No one takes my schedules seriously. No one listens to what I have to say and no one takes matters into their own hands. Sometimes it’s chaotic trying to get presentable in the mornings in this small house. I don’t know why I’m noticing this now because it’s been like that for years.
When Andrew was home recently because of an early doctor’s appointment and an eye appointment that both happened to be scheduled on the same day as his dad’s doctor’s appointment, an hour later, in the opposite direction, I had a well-planned bathroom schedule complete in my head. If only they would listen to me!
I’ve come to the conclusion men do not take the time frame into consideration when having to be somewhere. They don’t allow for problems. When Andrew was in elementary school and swimming on a swim team he thought we could leave at 4:00 for practice when the practice was scheduled for 4:00. Yes, we lived about 4 minutes from the pool, but we still had to pack up, drive through traffic, park, and unload. Nope! It doesn’t work that way.
This small house has one full bath and one half bath. I move all my stuff out of the half bath attached to the room Andrew likes to sleep in – the Philadelphia Room – and live out of a bag for a few days every time Andrew graces us with his presence or we have overnight company. There isn’t much you can do in a half bath so the majority of business is conducted in the full bath.
Once I remove all my essentials from the half bath I also set my clock to get up before everyone else so I don’t have to wait in line. I know that line will eventually form because it always does. I tell H Andrew has to leave first – an hour before we do – so please let him get in the bathroom first. He will not be in there for long.
I also tell Andrew, who likes to snooze until the last possible minute, to please get in there and out on time because Dad has to be somewhere too, and it takes him seven times longer to get ready than it does Andrew. It literally takes Andrew about eight minutes to get in the shower, brush his teeth, dress, and get out the door!
On the other hand, H rises early and ties up the bathroom for about an hour every morning, in and out, out and in. Reads the paper – back in. Checks on the sprinkler system – back in. A few sips of coffee, a bite of cereal – back in. Flip channels on the tv – back in. It goes on and on.
Meanwhile, dressed and ready, waiting not-so-patiently for leave time. I’ve done all I can do short of bathing and dressing everyone in the house myself.
I cannot imagine how H’s mother raised three boys with Mom and Dad making five in this small house with only one full bath. She was lucky it wasn’t three girls!
I just can’t get it through H’s head that when Andrew is home and has to be somewhere before he does, the bathroom does not have squatters rights. Me? I’ve learned to work around him. Andrew hasn’t.
I make these schedules in my head and casually drop a hint or two to everyone that time will be scarce in the morning so please work on a time frame.
Do they listen to me? No! Should I make a list and tack it to the bathroom door? Probably. Will they pay attention and follow the schedule on the list? Probably not!