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Category Archives: Humor

Unexplained purchases may come back to haunt you

Unexplained purchases may come back to haunt you

 

What do you do when your husband leaves at 4:30 am to hunt? My first thought is it’s too early to get up because it’s still dark outside. That leaves me one of three choices.

 

  1. Close my eyes and sleep for a few more hours.
  2. Bake those three loaves of banana bread I need for tomorrow.
  3. Research YouTube videos about the Cricut Explore Air 2.

You guessed it! The best answer to that question is #1. But after tossing and turning for thirty minutes, fretting over whether I had made a good decision about my recent purchase, I relented and chose #3. That banana bread can wait. Sleep will come when I least expect it.

I bought this nifty little machine yesterday, and frankly, it scares the heck out of me. I’m using that word, nifty, very loosely because I have yet to connect the power cord and turn on the switch to see what this baby can do.

So pretty and shiny!

What was I thinking? Like I really need another project to undertake. There was a great sale! What’s a girl to do? I figured I could cut out appliqués for some of the pillows I design for my etsy shop. After watching a few videos I realized there is just so much more I can do with this new piece of equipment. The endless possibilities are overwhelming. Where do I start?

I can see it sitting there in all its glory, right where I left it last night, surrounded by all the extra supplies and shiny new goodies that came in the bundle. All those items I have absolutely no idea how to use. I hear it beckoning to me in a ghostly voice. 👻“Come to me…Plug me in…Switch me on…Start your first project.“👻

I told H if I bought this item he would probably have to listen to a few choice words as I mastered the learning curve. Right now I’m dumbstruck and mute, no coherent thoughts in my head.

I tell myself to stop making excuses. Stop procrastinating. The sun is peeking through the slats of the blind.

Time to make that banana bread. Look who’s waiting now!

~Elle

You had to be there…

You had to be there…

True story…Once when my mother was hospitalized, my three sisters and I all showed up at her home to give our help, support, and love.

Of course we didn’t mind, but we lived in different states and it had been a while since we had all been together. We took advantage of the situation as a time of bonding between us again.

One night, after a long day at the hospital, we found ourselves home at the same time for a meal. Over dinner we decided to exterminate for bugs while we were there. A few unwanted insects had gotten our attention and after all, we were there to help, weren’t we? We didn’t want Mother to come home from her stay in the hospital to a bug infested home.

One sister – I won’t name names – always read directions and ingredients, and expiration dates before using any items. She wanted to make sure we were using the right product for the right bugs, and that the can was in date.

Among other various insects, this product in hand was also “good for confused beetle bugs.” Yes, I guess that’s a thing, but it set us off into a fit of laughter. We questioned why these beetles were confused and what did they look like? This was also BG (before google). We were on our own with this.

Now that we have google I know what to look for when spraying for confused beetle bugs!

After laughing hysterically for a few minutes, we finally calmed down. Poor Mother was in the hospital and it looked as if were having a party!  What would she think of us? 

No we had not been drinking, but anyone who would have come to the door would have thought so.

After spraying for the bugs – hopefully all confused beetle bugs saw the red flag and headed in another direction – preferably out of the house. We decided to call it a night. Tomorrow was another long day and we needed to be at the hospital early.

I remember waking about midnight and smelling something like fire, but not quite fire. Following voices and the smell, I ended up in the kitchen along with my sisters. We didn’t see fire or smell fire. It was more of an electrical smell, but we could not locate the source.

My youngest sister said we should call the fire department. We all knew the fire chief so she made the call. Now this was a small town and everyone knew everyone. I don’t believe she even gave him the address.

“Thomas? This is Tish Knowles. We are staying at Mothers while she is in the hospital and we smell fire. It’s more like an electrical smell. Could you send someone over here to check it out? Give us about fifteen minutes so we can get dressed.”

I kid you not. Those were her words! We were in various states of undress and all scrambled to throw on clothes. In only a few minutes, we heard sirens and saw flashing lights coming toward the house down Mothers driveway. They were not taking their time as Tish had suggested and the entire fire department with ladder trucks and hoses had shown up. They were not going to let Mrs. Knowles house go up in flames while she was in the hospital.

While firemen were searching through the house in every nook and corner for the “fire” we had called in, one of us had the thought to call my brother who lived right down the road. We didn’t want him to be alarmed and think we had set the house on fire.

He calmly asked if we had the florescent light over the kitchen sink on because that is probably what we had smelled. He had not had time to fix it and no one told us not to use it. It took him just a few minutes to show up and apologize to the fire department for an unneeded trip.

After the confused beetle bug dilemma and an almost fire, I think we all overslept and were late getting to the hospital the next morning.

I thought about this story today when I was brainstorming about the sequel to Avoiding The Tilt. I think Evie and Leo need to have an almost fire. It’s right up their alley.

Sometimes when we all get together it doesn’t take much to set us off into fits of hysteria! How about you? 

Stay tuned for the shopping basket incident and the need for a hair appointment. 

~Elle 

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