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Gone are the carefree days of life as it was before one spouse retires and the other still works from home. I’ve come up with a short list of important tips. I used to be home all day working while H was out in the work field all day. There is no more, “How was your day dear?” because his day was my day. It’s not easy to suddenly have to share my space and time. Sometimes I find myself looking for something to do so H won’t think I actually had some free time once in a while. What he didn’t know did not hurt him! You can read about that here.

5 Things Newly Retired Spouses Need To Know – When One

Works From Home And Hasn’t Retired Yet

  1. Hamper – Even though there is a lid, it opens, and dirty clothes can be put inside.
  2. Hot water – Don’t turn on the hot water in the kitchen while I’m in the shower. This is an old house with old plumbing.
  3. How to fix a sandwich  – It’s easier than you think. Take out bread, meat, cheese, and condiments. Put all together between two slice of bread. Cut as preferred and eat. You can also make two – one for me! I’ll love you forever for that!
  4. Cross off items on your to-do list – Yes, you have one. I gave it to you months ago. Don’t sit around thinking of things I can do to keep busy while you are sitting in your chair playing on your phone and watching Fox News 24-7. I may not look it, but I AM WORKING – WRITING IS WORKING.
  5. It isn’t all about you – Remember this is as new to me as it is to you. I may sometimes seem distant, but my time and  space has been invaded and my routine disrupted, also. We both need to learn how to share our free time. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you when I say I need some space.

I’m sure there are more tips I could add, but I don’t want to seem bitchy and unappreciative. The scales have been tipped and we are searching for the answer. It’s a learning process when suddenly there is an extra person around all day. I’ve learned to say what’s on my mind because H can’t read minds any better than I can. After ten months we are finally figuring it out!

What can you add to this list?




Space Invasion – Or Not?

Space Invasion – Or Not?

Walking into the unknown is something we all do at one time or another throughout life. Not knowing what’s ahead at the fork in the road or around the next corner. The outcome of any situation is usually a mystery. There is no way of knowing the future, but it would be nice to have that insight.

We spent the weekend at a marching band festival. That’s not unusual for us at this time of the year. This time H didn’t bring his band to perform and that is unusual. The festival was in Troy, Alabama. Yep, you guessed it! We got to spend some time with Andrew – very little time. 😦

The weather was beautiful – if you weren’t out in the wind! Good thing we brought jackets and a blanket. The 37 high school bands were scheduled to perform from 10:15am – 8:45pm with the Sound of the South performing the exhibition at 9:00pm. You guessed it again – that’s what we really went for! 🙂 It was great as always!

As I said earlier we saw very little of Andrew. He was busy helping bands and their pit crews move instruments on and off the field, and working at the PBR  (Phi Boota Roota) table. He’s a busy, busy, guy. At the end of the festival the Troy drum line performs outside the stadium while the students are returning to their buses. This to me is always the best part of this festival and there is always a crowd gathered to watch the entertainment.


Now back to walking into the unknown…We had prepared Andrew earlier in the week for the possibility of us spending the night. He said ok and he would make sure we had clean sheets. 🙂 A couple of times throughout the day he asked if we were staying the night. His dad said yes – I said maybe. I wasn’t sure how that room would look even though he did have advance notice. I think he was trying to prepare us for the worse because he said the bed wasn’t made and he has some laundry laying around – lots of laundry as in dirty laundry.

At the end of the day he sent us to pick up some food while he went home to take a shower. When we arrived with overnight bags and food, his roommate said he was in his room. Heading down the hall I was praying H wouldn’t hit the roof at the sight of that room. Surprise, surprise! The bed was made, courteous of clean sheets from Jordan,  you could see the floor – most of it – and the bathroom was useable. There was a mountain of laundry in one corner, a smaller pile in another, and an even smaller stack at the foot of the bed. This smallest stack was folded, so I assumed it was clean and the others were dirty.

“I just haven’t had time to get all this done. I’ve been busy,” he explained when I asked why there was so much. “I can’t bring all that to Jordan’s at one time. She would die. I just wash what I need.”

The next morning, I sorted through that monster pile, assuming the smaller pile was what he usually needed. Two sets of sheets, two comforters, and about ten towels were put in the trunk of my car. He didn’t need it so he wouldn’t miss it. The rest I sorted and stacked in the corner, placing a pair of jeans and khaki’s on top because I knew with the weather turning cooler he would need these items soon.

“You don’t need to do that,” he said.

“Yes I do. It may sit there all year if I don’t and you really don’t have that much dirty laundry when you take the towels and linens out so maybe you can get that pile washed up and Jordan won’t die.” 😉 “We’ll bring it back to you next week when we come for that concert.”

Yes, I probably invaded his personal space but…I can honestly say we took a load – or four or five – off his mind when we left. Now he has time to be even busier – or time to shave?






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