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When Man Was King Of His Castle

When Man Was King Of His Castle

I ran across this interesting tidbit on Facebook last night. Now ladies please don’t fall all over yourselves thanking me for sharing this hidden gem, containing a wealth of information to make your home and your children the picture of peace and happiness, and your husband the happiest man on earth! 

Tips To Look After Your Husband (Extract from 1950’s Home Economics Book)

  1. Have  dinner ready.  Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. 
  2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. 
  3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house, just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, papers, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. 
  4. Prepared the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces ( if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. 
  5. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. 
  6. Some Don’t’s. Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as mior compared to what he might have gone through that day. 
  7. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie don in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow or offer to take his shoes off. Speak in a low, soft, soothing, and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax – unwind. 
  8. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. 
  9. Make the evening his. Never complain if he doesn’t take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to come home and relax. 
  10. The goal. Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. 

My thoughts on this article: 

Dinner at our house sometimes gets made but most days doesn’t. The ribbon for my hair is being used to tie up the extension cords because we don’t have enough electrical outlets, and let’s face it – my day isn’t always that interesting. Most of the clutter around the house is H’s and he doesn’t ever notice whether I dust all this furniture, he claims we need to keep, or not. The children are grown and out of the house. So they are out of the equation. My warm smile has waned from the year and a half of his retirement. H is not away enough to smile about it yet. He usually turns a deaf ear when I do complain or the TV is up so loud he doesn’t hear me at all. He relaxes in that recliner all day sometimes. How much more relaxation does a man need? I’ve gotten really good at nodding and smiling and saying “Really?” while I’m multi-tasking. H and I go out to eat waaaaaay too often because it’s usually his idea and it would be nice to stay in once in a while. There is no order in this small house though I do try to organize all this stuff. Peace will come when some of this furniture is gone. 

Disclaimer – Do not put this article into effect all at one time for fear your husband may wonder what you are up too! 



For Every King There Shall Be A Queen

For Every King There Shall Be A Queen

It used to be man was “King of his castle” and as soon as Pops arrived home from work everyone skedattled like insects scurrying around in the dark of night when caught in a beam of light.

His newspaper and slippers were always resting near his comfy chair and a beverage of his choice appeared like magic by his side as he lit his pipe. Children were to be seen and not heard so there wasn’t a peep when the tv was tuned to the nightly news channel – something more enjoyable than Scooby Doo.

Switch to now – the twenty-first century – and a completely different picture comes to mind. 

Are you house hunting? Be sure that “forever” home includes a “man cave” because there has been a lot of emphasis on  this particular room as of late, according to all the DIY shows on HGTV.

Rules say this room must include a door, located in the basement, attic, or a well ventilated, finished-with-air-and-heat, garage. Or better still, a room detached from the house with no chance of unwelcome visitors or children showing up unannounced. No open concept room requirements for the “King”!

This is Dad’s own little room, decorated in colors of his choice – not yours – still known as his “castle”, though it’s not so little. Sunlight is not an option.

Off in one corner is a wet bar with a fridge fully stocked with snacks and refreshments ready to be served at any given time. The top of the line have beer on tap. There is a microwave for heating, storage for snack items, and running water for clean-up.

The biggest of the big screen tv’s with an incredible sound system takes up most of one wall, hung at the perfect angle to be viewed by guests from the large L-shaped sofa and recliners made of easy to clean leather on the opposite wall. Let the games begin! 

No carpet for spills to accumulate on. Easy-to-care-for flooring is best. Things can get quite unmanageable while consorting with friends in front of a playoff game that has gone south. A pool table to ease the tension, centered on the other side of the room, is a nice touch, though not required.

This “man cave” seems to me as the “boys only – no girls allowed ” clubhouse from our childhood, scaled up to heights not thought of in boyhood.

My friends and I are from a different generation I found out while discussing this man cave concept. A better generation of couples who enjoy spending time together, but not always helping each other with child care and cooking. What I wouldn’t give for a man who cooks – in the kitchen, not just on the grill! We are sandwiched between the King and the selfishness of alonetime mentality.

Deb said laughing, “Joe doesn’t have any friends. He wants me by his side in the evening, reading or watching a movie.”

My sister said more of the same, but her better half would rather her sit and watch tv of his choice without her reading or doing any sewing of any kind. “He’s not a movie person and thrives on my undivided attention. Sometimes he lets me choose the program.”

I have it easier than most. H doesn’t care what I’m doing as long as it can be done from the sofa, as he sits reclined in his chair, binge watching political news, violent war movies, or stressful dramas – with the sound turned up way to loud. I’ve learned to tune out the noise by reading or listening to an audiobook while stuffing forms into pillow covers I’ve worked on all day. Often, I even manage to write a few lines of the “Next Greatest American Novel”, soon to be published.

But for every “King” there shall be a “Queen”

I wonder if these man caves will turn into other designated rooms to be enjoyed together by couples when their children leave the nest, or at the very least, by the woman of the house. Could said room be turned into a craft room, a sewing room, a library and reading room? For sure, the “Queen” is allowed some compensation for all those years of giving-not-taking?

“Exile the King to the den to watch tv and scratch in the now peaceful quietness of his castle.”


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