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For Every King There Shall Be A Queen

For Every King There Shall Be A Queen

It used to be man was “King of his castle” and as soon as Pops arrived home from work everyone skedattled like insects scurrying around in the dark of night when caught in a beam of light.

His newspaper and slippers were always resting near his comfy chair and a beverage of his choice appeared like magic by his side as he lit his pipe. Children were to be seen and not heard so there wasn’t a peep when the tv was tuned to the nightly news channel – something more enjoyable than Scooby Doo.

Switch to now – the twenty-first century – and a completely different picture comes to mind. 

Are you house hunting? Be sure that “forever” home includes a “man cave” because there has been a lot of emphasis on  this particular room as of late, according to all the DIY shows on HGTV.


Rules say this room must include a door, located in the basement, attic, or a well ventilated, finished-with-air-and-heat, garage. Or better still, a room detached from the house with no chance of unwelcome visitors or children showing up unannounced. No open concept room requirements for the “King”!

This is Dad’s own little room, decorated in colors of his choice – not yours – still known as his “castle”, though it’s not so little. Sunlight is not an option.

Off in one corner is a wet bar with a fridge fully stocked with snacks and refreshments ready to be served at any given time. The top of the line have beer on tap. There is a microwave for heating, storage for snack items, and running water for clean-up.

The biggest of the big screen tv’s with an incredible sound system takes up most of one wall, hung at the perfect angle to be viewed by guests from the large L-shaped sofa and recliners made of easy to clean leather on the opposite wall. Let the games begin! 

No carpet for spills to accumulate on. Easy-to-care-for flooring is best. Things can get quite unmanageable while consorting with friends in front of a playoff game that has gone south. A pool table to ease the tension, centered on the other side of the room, is a nice touch, though not required.

This “man cave” seems to me as the “boys only – no girls allowed ” clubhouse from our childhood, scaled up to heights not thought of in boyhood.


My friends and I are from a different generation I found out while discussing this man cave concept. A better generation of couples who enjoy spending time together, but not always helping each other with child care and cooking. What I wouldn’t give for a man who cooks – in the kitchen, not just on the grill! We are sandwiched between the King and the selfishness of alonetime mentality.

Deb said laughing, “Joe doesn’t have any friends. He wants me by his side in the evening, reading or watching a movie.”

My sister said more of the same, but her better half would rather her sit and watch tv of his choice without her reading or doing any sewing of any kind. “He’s not a movie person and thrives on my undivided attention. Sometimes he lets me choose the program.”

I have it easier than most. H doesn’t care what I’m doing as long as it can be done from the sofa, as he sits reclined in his chair, binge watching political news, violent war movies, or stressful dramas – with the sound turned up way to loud. I’ve learned to tune out the noise by reading or listening to an audiobook while stuffing forms into pillow covers I’ve worked on all day. Often, I even manage to write a few lines of the “Next Greatest American Novel”, soon to be published.

But for every “King” there shall be a “Queen”

I wonder if these man caves will turn into other designated rooms to be enjoyed together by couples when their children leave the nest, or at the very least, by the woman of the house. Could said room be turned into a craft room, a sewing room, a library and reading room? For sure, the “Queen” is allowed some compensation for all those years of giving-not-taking?


“Exile the King to the den to watch tv and scratch in the now peaceful quietness of his castle.”

~Elle

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